When someone who suffers from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) The hallmarks of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are grandiosity, a lack of empathy for other people, and More has their shame triggered, they go right into a cycle of abuseCycle of Abuse The primary model that has been offered for how narcissists abuse their partners More, exhibiting rage, anger, shifting the blame to whoever made them feel the shame.

NPD is a mental condition

People who ,suffer from NPD have critical problems dealing with stress and change. They often avoid or withdraw from situations where they might fail or be embarrassed. Narcissists are ,deeply rooted in insecurity and fear being exposed as less than perfect or a failure.

Narcissists have problems managing their own emotions and behaviors. They have very low emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the ability to regulate, understand, and manage our emotions while recognizing, understanding, and influencing the emotions of others.

How do non-disordered people process shame or embarrassment?

For those who do not suffer from a personality disorder, processing shame and embarrassment is part of our regular emotional maintenance. We reconcile, we make amends, we apologize. Narcissists do none of these. 

Experts recommend ,practicing self-reflection and talking about what happened with trusted people who will show us empathy. By acknowledging it, we don’t allow it to dictate our trajectory or define us. Non-disordered people show their high emotional intelligence by exhibiting their vulnerability. They aren’t afraid to have uncomfortable conversations to deepen their relationships.  

People who suffer from NPD do not want to have uncomfortable conversations ever.

Their image reigns supreme. I learned the hard way that you can’t change someone who doesn’t see an issue with their actions.

For narcissists, once they perceive some kind of offense, they go into a cycle where they focus on their own:

Ego
Pride
Image and then
Revenge

How do people who suffer from NPD react to shame?

Narcissists launch into many forms of rage and punishment when confronted with any kind of shame or embarrassment. One example is the smear campaignSmear Campaign is the narcissist’s scorched-earth policy, leaving nothing but the burned wreckage of relationships and, sometimes, More. They will do anything to protect their image so they need to portray you as the bad person in their story. They launch this campaign as a way of minimizing you, dismissing you and making other people think you’re crazy. They are known liars and cheaters. ,The smear campaign is also a way to counteract what they’ve done. It’s not that they don’t want to apologize or take responsibility for their actions, it’s that the disorder won’t let them.

However, they won’t admit they have a disorder so the cruelty and abuse continue.

What does revenge look like?

Narcissists exact revenge on those who they believe have wronged them or offended them in some way. I offended my narcissistic father by questioning him, his words, and his cruelty. I didn’t stay on his script and do what he wanted. As a result, he was solely focused on setting a course to destroy me, his only child.

 

I wrote about this in my book “Wrecking Ball Relationships: How to Identify, Live With or Leave the Narcissist in Your Life.” 

“He responds with an email neither admitting nor denying responsibility. He uses sweeping generalities as if everything he does is bad, more “splitting.” Then he goes on to recite his resume. A true narcissist, he uses the word “I” 47 times.

What does his resume have to do with gossip floating around town?  I asked why he’d air our private issues in public. He replied with a list of everything he does. It seems he’s decided since everything he does is bad, why not lean into his “badness” even more? His legacy in our small community has been a driving force throughout my adulthood. As a narcissist, he can’t take responsibility for his actions. It would be an admission of guilt. He turns the tables to make it seem like I’m crazy, a classic gaslightingGaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person covertly sows seeds of doubt in a More strategy.”

 

People with narcissistic personality disorderNarcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) The hallmarks of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are grandiosity, a lack of empathy for other people, and More don’t want to think that anything could be wrong with them, so they usually don’t seek treatment.  Thus, they are much less likely to ever change. You need to change.

 

 Often, we stay in these cycles of abuse because we don’t believe we deserve something better.

 

You do deserve better.

 

I have a group starting soon. I have a limited number of seats available.

Get more information here:  https://www.lynncatalano.com/group-registration 

This is why it’s so important to talk to someone after you’ve suffered this type of abuse. But not just anyone. You need to find someone who’s familiar with narcissistic personality disorderNarcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) The hallmarks of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are grandiosity, a lack of empathy for other people, and More. You see, I didn’t get here by accident. I didn’t set out to become a narcissistic abuse recovery coach. But after I’d suffered this kind of abuse, I realized that my story and my experience could help so many people who’ve suffered similarly. When someone tells me about their struggles and their story, I’m not just understanding. I really get it. I’ve been there. I’ve felt those same emotions, that same rage, and loss.

 

Today is your day.

 

I can help you.

 

Don’t suffer in silence from narcissistic abuseNarcissistic Abuse is a form of emotional abuse projected by a narcissist on to another individual, Although narcissistic abuse More, let’s talk.

 

Click here to book a free session with me. Don’t wait another day.

https://buff.ly/3RPotG4 

 

You can find my book “Wrecking Ball Relationships” on Amazon and BarnesandNoble.com.