My Father’s Smear Campaign

I know my narcissistic father used a smear campaignSmear Campaign is the narcissist’s scorched-earth policy, leaving nothing but the burned wreckage of relationships and, sometimes, to attack my reputation and portray himself as the victim. I know it but I have no idea what he actually said about me. You see I can tell by the look on people’s faces when I walk into a place or how they react to me. I’ve learned, after years of working on myself, not to take things personally. Especially after reading “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. Comments are a reflection of the commentator’s reality, not yours.” Don Miguel Ruiz believes that if we stop taking things personally, anger, jealousy, envy, and sadness can disappear.

 

Adding Insult to Injury

 

It’s enough to have suffered narcissistic abuseNarcissistic Abuse is a form of emotional abuse projected by a narcissist on to another individual, Although narcissistic abuse from someone who was supposed to love you the most. It’s enough to go through the shock of not being able to trust this person. It’s enough to feel so trauma bondedTrauma Bonds refers to a state of being emotionally attached not to a kind friend to this person, you feel so embarrassed that you don’t tell anyone what’s happened. So, when you discover that your narcissist has created an elaborate cover story portraying you as the villain to your community, your friends and/or your family, it’s just too much.

 

People who suffer from narcissistic personality disorderNarcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) The hallmarks of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are grandiosity, a lack of empathy for other people, and cannot process any kind of confrontation about their actions.  They will never take responsibility and need to blame-shift. They turn the tables and make themselves the victim. If your narcissist is the overt type, who cares more about their image then any relationship, then they must implement the smear campaignSmear Campaign is the narcissist’s scorched-earth policy, leaving nothing but the burned wreckage of relationships and, sometimes,. 

 

What is a smear campaign?

The smear campaignSmear Campaign is the narcissist’s scorched-earth policy, leaving nothing but the burned wreckage of relationships and, sometimes, is a tactic the narcissist uses to discredit anyone who dares expose their bad behavior. Smear campaigns are a form of damage control used by narcissists when they become aware that they have been exposed. Their goal is to tarnish or assassinate your character. Why such an overt attack? They feel threatened by you.

Smear campaigns are frequently used to depict the former victim as insane, bipolar, addict, alcoholic, unstable, good digger, thief, cheater, or a poor parent. They are frequently used in personal relationships, divorce and in the workplace when the narcissist needs to turn the tables and make themselves the victim.

This is the narcissist’s way of minimizing you, dismissing you, and making other people think you are crazy. Remember they are known as Directors of Impression Management – always most concerned with their own image. They will do anything to protect their image, including tell lies and rumors about you. This cruelty is next level.

 

What are some ways to protect yourself during a smear campaign?

Try not to engage

Hold your head high

Show your high emotional intelligence

Surround yourself with a support network of family & friends

Go no-contact

Take comfort in the fact that anyone who truly knows your narcissist will know these stories about you are untrue. Don’t let them see you sweat.

 

Where would I be if I’d never written my book? My relationship with my narcissist would be in the exact same place.  You see you can’t reason with someone who refuses to take responsibility for their actions. They think every time you talk about them hurting you, they become the victim. They’re always more concerned with you exposing their bad behavior than with having a relationship with you.  That’s the most painful thing to realize.  Their image is always more important than you.  This was the most devastating thing for me to realize about my father.

Once you become vocal, expect the narcissist to begin their smear campaignSmear Campaign is the narcissist’s scorched-earth policy, leaving nothing but the burned wreckage of relationships and, sometimes, against you.  This will be the narcissist’s story of lies, how you are crazy and unstable. Don’t forget – nobody is angrier than a narcissist being accused of something they definitely did.

 

It always comes down to power and controlPower and Control Narcissism is almost entirely about gaining control over others. The narcissistic personality and. When the narcissist feels like they can no longer control you, then they will try to control the narrative and attack you. Their fragile sense of self-esteem has been threatened and they respond with this defense mechanism. It’s their way of manipulating the narrative to portray you as the villain.

 

Now that my narcissist has passed away, I often wonder what he has told people about me. But then I remember that the people who know me, know me. My narcissist suffered from a personality disorder, he was disordered.

 

 

Do something for yourself, today.

It is critical to recognize the signs of narcissistic abuseNarcissistic Abuse is a form of emotional abuse projected by a narcissist on to another individual, Although narcissistic abuse, as it can have long-term effects on your emotional, mental, and physical health. The narcissistic abuseNarcissistic Abuse is a form of emotional abuse projected by a narcissist on to another individual, Although narcissistic abuse cycle typically involves a period of love-bombing, where the narcissist showers you with attention and affection, followed by devaluationGradually, the target begins to see bright red flags that indicate a problem in this, where they criticize and belittle you. This cycle can repeat itself over and over again, leading to feelings of confusion and self-doubt. Enroll in my course – Trauma Bonds 101 – where I will lead you through the narcissistic abuseNarcissistic Abuse is a form of emotional abuse projected by a narcissist on to another individual, Although narcissistic abuse cycle and show you how the trauma bondsTrauma Bonds refers to a state of being emotionally attached not to a kind friend are holding you back and how to break them for good.

 

Healing from long-term trauma takes time. Don’t stay in this kind of emotionally abusive relationship.  It won’t get better.  They won’t change.  You don’t deserve this abuse.

It’s not your fault. I know it feels that way, but you did nothing to deserve this treatment. People who suffer from narcissistic personality disorderNarcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) The hallmarks of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are grandiosity, a lack of empathy for other people, and want you to feel that way as nothing is ever their fault. They also want you to feel completely isolated. Please be assured, you’re not alone and you’re not going crazy. You may find comfort in other people’s similar experiences and validation that you’re not alone. Their bad behavior isn’t your fault.

 

You see, I didn’t get here by accident. I didn’t set out to become a narcissistic abuse recovery coach. But after I’d suffered this kind of abuse, I realized that my story and my experience could help so many people who’ve suffered similarly. 

 

Often, we stay in these cycles of abuse because we don’t believe we deserve something better. I kept trying to make our relationship work, but he didn’t want me in his life. It took me a long time to understand that I deserved better.

 

You deserve better, too.

 

You can’t do this alone. I can help you.

Work with me one-on-one or take one of my courses.

Free yourself from the narcissist. Break the ties that bind. Break your trauma bondsTrauma Bonds refers to a state of being emotionally attached not to a kind friend for good.  

 

Check out The Narcissist Slayers podcast

 

Take this as your sign to take action today. Learn how to break the trauma bonds for good this time.