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Blame shifting is an emotionally abusive behavior or tactic. Abusers have difficulty taking responsibility for problems. They go as far as necessary to attribute blame for their circumstances to anyone else, even if it may sound somewhat conspiratorial. Similarly, they don’t accept ownership of their emotions. They typically express both negative and positive feelings with language like, “You make me so mad.” Blame may be attributed more subtly by saying “I wouldn’t have to do this if you didn’t do that” They also take the focus away from themselves by shifting the focus to a past perceived slight or time that you did something to hurt them, instead of taking responsibility for their behavior.

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