When you have finally had enough chaos, drama, and confusion from your narcissist, you decide it’s time to confront them. This takes you a while, it doesn’t come easy. You’ve been trying to make this relationship work and you just can’t continue this way. You must know the truth. So you confront them. But be prepared. They will not behave like someone who is not disordered would. Don’t expect them to take responsibility for their words and actions and sincerely apologize. It’s just not going to happen. I go into detail on strategies to ignore your narcissist and protect your mental health here.
They will not respond to your questions. They will start throwing in irrelevant facts known as “word salad” to confuse and distract. They will do anything to deflect from your questions to avoid taking responsibility.
They use gaslightingGaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person covertly sows seeds of doubt in a to manipulate the truth. They will try to convince you that you’re wrong about what happened. Their perception of reality is the only option. They make you question your own reality. They make you feel like you are going crazy.
ProjectionNarcissistic Projection is a defense mechanism commonly used by abusers, including people with narcissistic or borderline personality disorder and addicts. Basically, is a defense mechanism where basically, they’re saying, “It’s not me, it’s you!” This is another tactic to deflect from the question asked. They often turn the tables trying to make themselves the victim instead of owning their actions.
I wrote about this in my blog last week as these narcissistic rage storms and holidays go together. Narcissistic rage storms can be either explosive or silently seething. Sometimes you can see the storm coming. Hunker down, as you don’t know how long it will last.
This is the cruelest form of manipulation the narcissist uses to punish you. There is no conflict resolution as they categorically refuse to speak to you. This tactic makes you feel like you have no worth, no value. I know I felt completely alone.
I wrote about this in my book “Wrecking Ball Relationships: How to Identify, Live With or Leave the Narcissist in Your Life.”
“When I confronted my father after an argument, I didn’t recognize he was gaslightingGaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person covertly sows seeds of doubt in a me, at the time. I repeated back what he said and did. First, he responded, it was a misinterpretation. He wouldn’t explain what was misinterpreted or who misinterpreted what. Then he said it was a joke. This should’ve been a red flag. There was nothing funny about the subject matter or his actions. He never elaborated. He then concocted an elaborate retelling of the facts, including events that never took place. I corroborated his story with the other person involved a true innocent. The innocent, who had no skin in this game, told me none of the above three versions of my father’s responses occurred. My father changed the past to fit his recollection – he saw himself as the victim. He was always turning the tables. When he recounts that story, he only remembers it his way, believing all his own lies.”
I’ve written many blogs about why narcissists ruin holidays and what you can do about it. These blogs are often read, reread and referenced.
I get it. Holidays bring such anxiety when there’s a narcissist involved. Well, I’ve done something for you. I’ve given you a step-by-step approach delivered in bite-sized videos to arm you with the tools and strategies to save this holiday season all for less than the cost of your skincare routine. This is a limited time discount as it will go up after Thanksgiving.
If you’ve experienced the chaos, the circus, and the conflict, you know how narcissists ruin and wreck every holiday, special occasion, family gathering. You’ve witnesses the narcissistic rage storms. You’ve been punished with the silent treatmentSilent Treatment The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse typically employed by people with narcissistic tendencies. It. It’s just the worst experience. You’ve even debated about attending the event.
In this course you will receive:
1. Expert guidance with actionable steps & coping strategies you can implement right away
2. Worksheets to illustrate the concepts
3. Bonus materials including my 10 Red Flags!
4. Year-long access
5. Incredible value for less than the cost of one therapy session!
Join the many people who have successfully navigated holiday challenges with my expert strategies. This course is specifically designed with you in mind and is focused on your unique challenges at this time of year.
Check out The Narcissist Slayers podcast https://www.youtube.com/@TheNarcissistSlayers/featured
You can find my book “Wrecking Ball Relationships” on Amazon, BarnesandNoble.com, and lynncatalano.com.
If you’re looking for my Top 10 Answers to your Top 10 Questions about Narcissists, just go here: https://buff.ly/3yUt43z